This week’s Thursday 13 is about palindromes. I looked around for some nice ones and found among others the following thirteen. They are fun. But do they make sense?  My thoughts:

1. Ed, I saw Harpo Marx ram Oprah W. aside.

I think I can safely say that this is a blatant lie. Oprah W. was 10 years old when Harpo Marx died. Besides I don’t think that Harpo Marx would have been so rude as to “ram” somebody “aside”. The speaker obviously only wanted to get Ed’s attention by coming out with something so preposterous that Ed just had to react.

2. No trace; not one carton

What cartons are they talking about? I assume a truckload of TV sets or whatever the truck was transporting is missing, possibly was stolen. Someone was told to investigate and is now reporting back that all cargo has been taken. Piece of cake, this one.

3. Dogma: I am God

Some people would say that there is no God so the whole sentence is meaningless. On the other hand, a dogma is something the validity of which is incontrovertible. So who is saying this? If the person who says this is not God, then the statement is not true; but then it is no dogma. What am I saying? I think I’m venturing into waters too deep for me, I’ll stop right here. I don’t want to get caught in the crossfire of a religious battle.

4. Murder for a jar of red rum

Someone has murdered somebody for a jar of red rum. Why would anybody murder for a jar of red rum? Do people kill for a bit of alcohol? Nah, I think the meaning is a totally different one. Do you know the story about Sherlock Holmes and the race horse? “Silver Blaze” is missing and it’s trainer killed. It’s all because of some betting scam as far as I can remember. You might not know this but there was a race horse called “Red Rum” that won the Grand National three times in the 70s. Now the sentence makes much more sense, doesn’t it? The word “jar” was just thrown in to obfuscate its meaning.

5. Go hang a salami; I’m a lasagna hog!

What exactly is a lasagna hog? Is is something like a cover hog? So that would be somebody sitting at the table keeping hold of the lasagna dish (meant for five) and eating it all, while the others have to make do with the bread. Obviously that person is so greedy that he even wants to keep the salami for himself for later, since he wants it to be hanging from the ceiling, instead of being on the table. The location must be one of those Italian places that cater for the gullible tourists who believe that if sausage is dangling from above and the tables are covered in red/white chequered table cloths the food served is authentic Italian home cooking.

6. I, madam, I made radio! So I dared! Am I mad? Am I?

This one is inspired by Dr. Seuss. I can imagine Sam I Am saying this.

7. Kay, a red nude, peeped under a yak

Two possibilities: either Kay is just very curious and wants to know the ins and outs of a yak’s underbelly. Why she is naked I don’t dare to discuss here, it might get too uncomfortable for some. Or she is hiding from someone and is peeking out from behind / under the yak to check whether her pursuer has given up. Why she is naked I don’t dare to discuss here, it might get too uncomfortable for some.

8. A Goth saw Anna wash toga.

Now here we have a perfectly sensible palindrome. Anna is a slave washing a toga for her Roman master, while the Goths invade the empire. The fact that the Romans insisted on wearing clean clothes and discussing recent events at the forum instead of fighting off pillaging, invading armies explains the fall of the Roman Empire nicely. They should have gotten their priorities straight.

9. Amore? Roma!

This one doesn’t need any interpretation, does it? Just look at all those yummy Italians!

10. Devil never even lived.

I’m not going there. This has the potential of another religious battlefield. I’m not going to burn my fingers again.

11. Emil asleep, Allen yodelled "Oy!" Nella peels a lime.

This one conjures a cosy domestic atmosphere. In theory it is feasible enough, however, how Emil can possibly sleep while somebody is yodelling is beyond me. That caterwauling can raise the dead.

12. Now, Ned, I am a maiden nun; Ned, I am a maiden won.

Ned must have something going for him if he managed to win over a maiden nun. As far as I know nuns (maiden or otherwise) are pretty hard to seduce.

13. Nella risks all: "I will ask Sir Allen."

Nella seems to have finished peeling her lime, so I suppose she is enjoying her Caipirinha* right now. Being slightly drunk, she seems to become bold and does what nobody else dares. She asks Sir Allen.

Option a.: Sir Allen is the village tyrant who has refused to have the well repaired. The villagers have been suffering for months without a working well (and were confined to drinking Caipirinhas for lack of water) and finally someone has worked up the courage to go and give him a piece of her mind.

Option b.: Sir Allen is the guy with the yodelling and she asks him to stop the noise.  Knowing Sir Allen is prone to violence when his musical hobby is being questioned she needed to work up the courage with the help of some booze (plus: she takes the lime peeler as an emergency weapon).

* Nella is extremely particular and peels the limes before using them for her Caipi. Just in case you were wondering.

Check out more Thursday 13 participants!

Today’s Thursday 13 is not book related at all. I’m off this week and miss my job. So, in order to fight my feeling of being lost I made up a little quiz about my pet peeves at work. Guess which answer is the correct answer for me. In one case more than one answer is possible.

To make up for this list of laments I’ll post a list of my 13 favourite things at work in the future. 

1. The royal "we" (unfortunately not)
   Situation: Your boss comes into your office and says: "We have to do the xyz reports today." To you this means:
   a. He always uses the royal "we", he does the reports himself.
   b. You do the reports with him together.
   c. You do the reports on your own. However, once again his "we" tricked you for a second into believing he will help.
2. The eternal greeting card loop
   Situation: Your boss sends a gift with a greeting card. He receives a thank you card back.
   a. Nothing more needs to be done.
   b. He wants you to send a thank you card for the thank you card. Ad infinitum et at nauseam.
3. Deadline? What deadline?
   Situation: A deadline is due.
   a. You get all reports at least 2 days earlier. You have plenty of time to sort everything out and to contact people if questions arise.
   b. You get the reports just in time to combine them all and send them on before the deadline expires.
   c. You get the first report just in time, the rest you have to ask for repeatedly. The deadline expires without being met. You are blamed for both, by the slowpokes for the too short deadline and by your boss for the missed one.
4. Game over!
   Situation: Your boss receives a new assignment with a deadline.
   a. He tells you immediately, so you can prepare everything and request whatever is necessary from everybody involved with plenty of time to meet the deadline.
   b. You are getting the wind of it by pure chance, because your boss forgot to send you the info.
   c. You are notified about it 3 days (or 3 weeks) after the deadline date. Then chaos ensues. However, if you are lucky, someone took care of it in time. Then it’s like a puzzle with scattered pieces and all of a sudden those pieces all slot into their assigned places. In that case the chaos turns into sheer beauty.
5. I’ll forward anything to anybody
   Situation: Your boss receives an email.
   a. He checks whose name is already on the distribution list and, after carefully reading it, sends it only to relevant people who have not received the mail yet.
   b. After carefully reading it, he sends it only to relevant people. They might get the mail a second time, because their name has been on the distribution list already.
   c. He doesn’t read the email and forwards it to everybody with a little "take care of this" note. Everybody has to read it and wastes valuable time. Advantage of this method: Everybody knows everything and doesn’t need to be informed separately. Disadvantage of this method: Everybody knows everything and thinks he’s got a say in it.
6. Snails at work
   Situation: You discover a minor mistake on the companies website. A word has been translated wrong. You notify the German HQ.
   a. It takes a few hours to correct the mistake. You receive a notification that it’s done.
   b. You receive a notification that it has been forwarded to the international HQ. After about 3 days the mistake is corrected.
   c.  You receive a notification that it has been forwarded to the international HQ. After about 3 months nothing has happened.
7. Morons at work
   Situation: A colleague has a parcel to be dispatched. He hasn’t asked the parcel service yet to come by to pick it up. Parcel service turns up to pick up a parcel. Reception staff is busy at the moment and can’t answer the parcel guy. The colleague happens to stand at the reception. What does he do?
   a. He does nothing and waits until reception staff is free to answer and give the parcel guy the correct parcel that has been sitting there all day to be picked up.
   b. He thinks, "Ah, I have a parcel that needs to be picked up and here is a parcel guy. I’ll tell him to wait and  get my parcel from my office. He must have known I have something that needs picking up."
   c. He thinks, "Screw my colleague whose parcel is waiting to be picked up. Mine is more urgent, I’ll just get mine and hand it over. Who cares what happens to the important papers that need to be in xxx by tomorrow morning?"
8. Why would you need software? Or hardware?
   Situation: You want to watch an important flash movie (with sound) on your company’s intranet.
   a. You watch it and enjoy the top quality of picture and sound.
   b. You watch it but can’t enjoy the sound, since you haven’t got speakers.
   c. You can’t watch it since it requires the newest flash version, which you haven’t got.
9. Access denied!
   Situation: In your lunch break (or working time) you want to blog, watch a youtube video or tell your facebook friends what you’re up to.
   a. You go ahead and blog / watch youtube/ facebook to your heart’s content:
   b. You can’t do any of these, but you can at least go through your bloglines and read your favourite blogs
   c. You can do nothing of the sort, because all access is denied.
10. Cut the red tape (and glue it back together)
    Situation: In order to cut down bureaucracy it is announced that reporting will be reduced to a minimum.
    a. Your workload is reduced by at least 50%. Only minimum reports are being requested now. It is a dream come true.
    b. Your workload stays the same. Nothing changes.
    c. New reports and spreadsheets to cut red tape are being added to the usual and your workload is increased by 25%.
11. Your ad could go here 
    Situation: Someone comes by without appointment and wants to speak to you. He wants to sell you ads for a local event brochure.
    a. He is a businessman who tells you prices and media data. You tell him that you’ll contact him. He leaves.
    b. He is a somewhat casual guy and tells you prices and media data. You tell him that you’ll contact him. He chats a bit with you and then leaves.
    c. The guy in question is a self appointed expert on eroticism. He is a sex-crazed maniac who looks like a pimp. He chats you up, tells you about a lake where the nudists hang out and suggests you come out one day for a photo shooting. On top of it he proposes his idea for an erotic reading on your premises. He only leaves when you say, you are off the clock in about two minutes.
12. You want food? Go and buy some elsewhere!
    Situation: You are hungry. You go into the kitchen and check whether you can find something to eat.
    a. There is plenty of stuff to choose from because a buffet has come back from the clients. You’re free to take whatever you want.
    b. There are a few leftovers from God knows when. You grab whatever is available. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
    c. No luck! Apart from the extremely short break times there is no food to be had. Missed the break? Tough! Not even a slice of dry bread can be found.
13. My desk is my castle (but nobody seems to care)
    Situation: You shut down your PC and leave your office to go home.
    a. The next morning your desk is exactly how you left it yesterday.
    b. The next morning you see that somebody sat at your desk. They tried to conceal that fact by arranging everything the way it was when you left. Only subtle signs tell you somebody was there.
    c. The next morning your PC is running. Outlook is open. Someone rummaged through your emails. Some pens and your scissors are missing. When you sit down you almost land on the floor because someone has changed your chair settings.

Correct answers: